Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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