forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
They have beer where we have blood.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
