i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
This toilet bowl is my home.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
