Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize