i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
