I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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