On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
