I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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