Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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