I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
