I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
