3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Be still, my beating vagina.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
