my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
