walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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