3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
