Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
