We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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