I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
