No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
