physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
