I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
