one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
