I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
