He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
