Yo dont text me then not text me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
