she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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