No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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