White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
