I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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