i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
