I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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