Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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