Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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