Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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