i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
