what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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