I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
