I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
