Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
