Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice