yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.