Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive

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  (814): I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive http://tfl.nu/iqgu
  Replies (7) Good night (2110) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life

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  (816): dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life http://tfl.nu/cejd
  Replies (11) Good night (3489) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.

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  (541): No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night. http://tfl.nu/zfom
  Replies (6) Good night (2148) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.

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  (920): I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant. http://tfl.nu/9xux
  Replies (1) Good night (2540) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.

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  (641): Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit. http://tfl.nu/0tmo
  Replies (8) Good night (1222) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"

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  (828): Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole" http://tfl.nu/3q74
  Replies (21) Good night (736) Bad night (2185)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will

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  (302): I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will http://tfl.nu/3pox
  Replies (4) Good night (1065) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!

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  (315): HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT! http://tfl.nu/pd33
  Replies (13) Good night (550) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug

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  (267): I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug http://tfl.nu/3mhw
  Replies (2) Good night (828) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent

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  (404): Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent http://tfl.nu/17u7
  Replies (0) Good night (1012) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy

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  (701): All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy http://tfl.nu/indb
  Replies (5) Good night (475) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.

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  (971): Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/pagf
  Replies (1) Good night (904) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice

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  (607): I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice http://tfl.nu/kf5f
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test

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  (903): Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test http://tfl.nu/h0id
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (176)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be

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  (570): I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft (1-570): Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be http://tfl.nu/nzda
  Replies (4) Good night (271) Bad night (149)

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