Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  He uses pillows to masturbate.

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  (708): He uses pillows to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/f9f4
  Replies (39) Good night (813) Bad night (3210)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.

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  (949): You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food. http://tfl.nu/pk8x
  Replies (22) Good night (3774) Bad night (926)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i have a dinosaur tramp stamp

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  (303): i have a dinosaur tramp stamp http://tfl.nu/rh7q
  Replies (60) Good night (8272) Bad night (2172)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.

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  (210): Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO. http://tfl.nu/ip2n
  Replies (27) Good night (8514) Bad night (1310)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  be sure to add "office slut" to your resume

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  (703): he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh (1-703): be sure to add "office slut" to your resume http://tfl.nu/3kje
  Replies (10) Good night (4850) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment

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  (818): Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment http://tfl.nu/eaeq
  Replies (8) Good night (3409) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  well in DOG beers, i've only had one

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  (717): well in DOG beers, i've only had one http://tfl.nu/2mnf
  Replies (20) Good night (5544) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.

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  (214): My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down. http://tfl.nu/p7qt
  Replies (15) Good night (2133) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on

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  (508): Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on http://tfl.nu/0ff0
  Replies (8) Good night (1155) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds

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  (252): I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds http://tfl.nu/g7b7
  Replies (5) Good night (1042) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight

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  (302): I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight http://tfl.nu/n5g0
  Replies (6) Good night (848) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.

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  (414): i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now. http://tfl.nu/jexc
  Replies (6) Good night (1243) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.

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  (831): Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me. http://tfl.nu/ne9s
  Replies (4) Good night (632) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember

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  (306): i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember http://tfl.nu/04pq
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (215)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer

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  (310): you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer http://tfl.nu/3y4u
  Replies (0) Good night (610) Bad night (293)

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