Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.

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(828): he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art. http://tfl.nu/yesh

Replies (47) Good night (3150) Bad night (1569)
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(650): View more from California

so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.

(415): View more from California

What...you let him do that?

(650): View more from California

It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow

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(650): so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow. (415): What...you let him do that? (650): It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow http://tfl.nu/aum0

Replies (72) Good night (5477) Bad night (733)
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(281): View more from Texas

Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno

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(281): Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno http://tfl.nu/zxk7

Replies (13) Good night (3046) Bad night (691)
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(916): View more from California

and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse

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(916): and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse http://tfl.nu/0v20

Replies (12) Good night (4767) Bad night (1203)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.

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(847): I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note. http://tfl.nu/4rpl

Replies (47) Good night (14097) Bad night (1391)
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(850): View more from Florida

She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever

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(850): She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever http://tfl.nu/uwj0

Replies (18) Good night (6075) Bad night (1381)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf

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(208): Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf http://tfl.nu/yxjw

Replies (6) Good night (3772) Bad night (849)
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(530): View more from California

I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.

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(530): I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did. http://tfl.nu/hz33

Replies (4) Good night (1772) Bad night (620)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~

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(651): Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~ http://tfl.nu/6n7p

Replies (5) Good night (2256) Bad night (600)
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(863): View more from Florida

I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.

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(863): I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/1riw

Replies (21) Good night (869) Bad night (1554)
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

I can't answer my phone I'm at work

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities

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(339): I can't answer my phone I'm at work (781): I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities http://tfl.nu/qhjl

Replies (5) Good night (1688) Bad night (476)
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(315): View more from New York

The second I see you we're shot gunning beers

(1-315): View more from New York

It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning

(315): View more from New York

And your point is?

(1-315): View more from New York

Marry me

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(315): The second I see you we're shot gunning beers (1-315): It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning (315): And your point is? (1-315): Marry me http://tfl.nu/zcdd

Replies (2) Good night (1424) Bad night (377)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

He used a "food city great value" card to cut it

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(267): he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli (267): He used a "food city great value" card to cut it http://tfl.nu/fxwe

Replies (2) Good night (357) Bad night (635)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next

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(202): Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next http://tfl.nu/dw8t

Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (723)
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(205): View more from Alabama

You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.

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(205): You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy. http://tfl.nu/nc3s

Replies (1) Good night (560) Bad night (395)

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