i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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