well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
