i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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