I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
