hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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