i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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