Capitaan dildo arrescate!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize