Dual....:-)
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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