What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
