i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
