It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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