it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize