Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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