I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm just crazy horny about you
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize