if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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