woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
