she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So apparently I’m into choking now
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
