I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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