Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
