The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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