I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Can Purell be used as lube?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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