In the future we'll all be gay
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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