I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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