Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
