Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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