just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
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Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
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Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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